Self Destruct

I am a ticking time bomb, ready to explode and devastate anyone around me at the drop of a pin. The fear of my rigid shards getting thrown into those I love, just because they were too close, forces me to keep my distance. A safety measure, really. I tape myself together tightly, as a precaution, just to be certain I can't come apart. Even if the pressure builds up so heavily that all I want to do is open that dam and release that flood. Yet, I know that the moment that pin comes out, I'd be filled with instant regret as I watch my ever so carefully constructed safe space, become enveloped by smoke and pain. I feel myself tick tick ticking, like the battle drums of a heartbeat, pounding on the walls of your chest. A ticking so fierce and dangerous, it should be locked in a cage where there is no chance of escape. I keep my pin in. I'll guard it with my life, to protect yours. God forbid there's a day I decide to allow it to be yanked from its spot; and I self destruct.